It probably wished it had bought it now

Microsoft offered to sell its Bing search engine to Apple in 2018, Google claimed in a court paper this month.

Jobs’ mob rubs paws at prospect of making money repairing it

Apple Vision Pro owners are posting identical reports of a crack appearing on the front glass of their overpriced headsets.

Nevermind Nervana, give us 30 per cent of your rice bowl

Fruity cargo cult Apple has been bullying the maker of a meditation app and demanding that a third of the donations given to its teachers be handed over to keep the company wealthy.

iPhone sushi is not an approved technology solution

Fruity cargo cult Apple has been forced to tell its rather stupid fanboys that sticking their expensive iPhones in a bed of rice will not be good for their health.

Failure meets vapourware in custard's last stand

Fruity cargo cult Apple is so proud of its Vision Pro team, which made an expensive product which is being returned, it has shifted them to sorting out its foldable phone flop mess.

The emperor has no clothes

Apple's Vision Pro is getting a lot of stick now that it can be stuck to faces and now Meta boss Mark Zuckerberg has joined in.

Beeper Mini fiasco bubbles up again

Republican Commissioner Brendan Carr is demanding the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) probe into Apple’s swift shutdown of Beeper Mini, the cheeky app that dared to bring iMessage to Android.

Anti-Rich Moron law

US politicians are mulling new laws because Apple fanboys are too stupid to take their Vision Pro headsets off when they are driving.

Plastic scratches easily and passwords require Apple store visit

The Apple Vision Pro is a bulky bit of mixed-reality kit, and that's because most of us thought it was made of posh materials like glass and aluminium.

Rich and incredibly stupid

A daft driver was caught red-handed by the cops after he tried to drive a Tesla with a £2,500 Apple gadget strapped to his face.